Wait... I think I've seen this one before!
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10 thoughts on “Ch01-20”
Refugnic
Well, considering that this is the same scene we saw in the very beginning and that it was identified as a recurring nightmare and if we add to that, that Fae apparently lost consciousness on the last page…I think I know what happens next.
Unless she’s lucky enough to wake before seeing her brother die again.
Looking forward to see what else you have planned though.
Jim
I’m looking forward to you finding out! 😀
Refugnic
As a little token of appreciation for the work you’re putting out, a small gift.
Recurring nightmare, can’t escape,
a terrifying truth takes shape.
Couldn’t save him, died in vain.
One day, my dear, we’ll meet again.
Spiraling towards the end,
seeking ways for her to mend.
Finding darkness, finding strife.
You won’t get out of life alive.
Bring the hopeless, bring the lost,
won’t give in, darned be the cost.
Darkness, danger, restless soul.
Find the pieces. Make you whole?
Jim
Oh wow! This is great! Thanks! ( my one critique is instead of “darned be the cost”, perhaps “no matter the cost”. It seems to flow better?)
Refugnic
Apparently I can’t reply to your comment directly, so I’m answering myself. 😀
I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I know from personal experience, how important the occasional appreciation is for an artist, so you’re very welcome.
As for your suggestion, and I’m not an expert by any means, but I think ‘no matter the cost’ is one syllable too much in this context.
The line above, to which is it is supposed to rhyme with, has 7 syllables.
With ‘won’t give in, no matter the cost,’ the second line would have 8 syllables, so one too many for a fluent rhyme.
I did not count them as I went, mind you. Just went with what ‘felt’ right when I read it to myself. 🙂
Jim
Yeah. The one problem is that replying to a reply to a reply is… Not… good.
Both have 8 syllables, though.
“Won’t-give-in, darn-ed-be-the-cost”
“won’t-give-in, no-mat-ter-the-cost”
Either works and I truly appreciate the time you took to write such a wonderful poem on our work. I shared it on the discord XD. I just like trying to figure stuff out 😛
Refugnic
Oh, we have that in common. I must disagree on the number of syllables though.
According to https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllables/darned, `darned` has exactly one syllable.
That’s probably because ‘darned’ is basically pronounced as ‘darnd’, with the ‘e’ being silent.
It’s the same with most of the regular verbs actually, if I’m not mistaken. ‘Played’, ‘talked’, ‘surfed’, etc.
But this is a webcomic, not an English class (which, I might add, am utterly unsuited to teach. :)), so I’m not going to argue (any more). 🙂
Jim
Either way, it was an awesome thing for you to do and we’re thankful for it. English class or not XD
Refugnic
A final question though, if I may.
You mentioned a discord channel, but I couldn’t find the invite link anywhere on the site (didn’t go through the author notes though, so there’s a fair chance I overlooked it).
Maybe I’m just being blind though.
Jim
Oh my. I will be replacing a button on the right hand side panel for people to join with. Thank you, again. Link to Discord: https://discord.gg/2nypB6rt
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